Essay "Sex Without a Condom is the new Engagement Ring," Causes Stir
By Aleesa Mann -- Black College Wire
Issue date: 9/4/08 Section: Entertainment
For a lot of my friends, the transition from having sex with -- to sex without -- a condom is seen as a symbolic engagement," says Pendarvis Harshaw, junior telecommunications major and Freelance Content Producer for National Public Radio's (NPR) Youth Radio organization.
"It shows trust, commitment, and the prospect of a shared future," he adds.
As bold as the statement may be, it is a part of Harshaw's essay, "Sex Without Condoms Is the New Engagement Ring," where he explores the way today's youth approach monogamy in relationships.
The essay was submitted as a part of Youth Radio's "What's the New What?" series, which highlights new trends in youth culture.
In the on-air essay, Harshaw acknowledges the dangers of contracting STDs and the risk of unexpected pregnancies. He emphasized that while youth may ditch condoms in their sexual activities, other forms of birth control are still widely used.
After conducting an informal survey, Harshaw said he came up with the leading argument for his essay.
"[I spoke with] everybody from friends, to co-workers, to residents about relationships-how to approach getting into a monogamous relationship, and I saw a consistent trend," says Harshaw. "A lot of people were talking about the most major step is the step toward unprotected sex."
The controversial issue tackled in Harshaw's essay has definitely raised eyebrows among the NPR audience and has received harsh criticisms and empathetic remarks alike.
"I believe the feedback was mixed because older folks just plain do not want to hear the truth about young people encountering heavy sexual situations at younger ages. These situations are definitely adult, and used to be taboo to even talk about, but children have been bombarded with so much sexual imagery by the media, that the situations themselves have become common," says senior Matt Cody, film production major and founder of HowHood University Records.
Harshaw, who set out to shed light on youth perspective of monogamy with this essay, has been surprised and pleased with the feedback surrounding his argument.
"It shows trust, commitment, and the prospect of a shared future," he adds.
As bold as the statement may be, it is a part of Harshaw's essay, "Sex Without Condoms Is the New Engagement Ring," where he explores the way today's youth approach monogamy in relationships.
The essay was submitted as a part of Youth Radio's "What's the New What?" series, which highlights new trends in youth culture.
In the on-air essay, Harshaw acknowledges the dangers of contracting STDs and the risk of unexpected pregnancies. He emphasized that while youth may ditch condoms in their sexual activities, other forms of birth control are still widely used.
After conducting an informal survey, Harshaw said he came up with the leading argument for his essay.
"[I spoke with] everybody from friends, to co-workers, to residents about relationships-how to approach getting into a monogamous relationship, and I saw a consistent trend," says Harshaw. "A lot of people were talking about the most major step is the step toward unprotected sex."
The controversial issue tackled in Harshaw's essay has definitely raised eyebrows among the NPR audience and has received harsh criticisms and empathetic remarks alike.
"I believe the feedback was mixed because older folks just plain do not want to hear the truth about young people encountering heavy sexual situations at younger ages. These situations are definitely adult, and used to be taboo to even talk about, but children have been bombarded with so much sexual imagery by the media, that the situations themselves have become common," says senior Matt Cody, film production major and founder of HowHood University Records.
Harshaw, who set out to shed light on youth perspective of monogamy with this essay, has been surprised and pleased with the feedback surrounding his argument.
Viewing Comments 1 - 10 of 10
Kris
posted 9/04/08 @ 3:10 PM EST
First, everyone is allowed to do whatever they want but I question the critical thinking skills of anyone in 2008, engaging in unprotected sex.
I'm outraged that just by my ethnicity that it's assumed by the CDC and others that I may be HIV positive. (Continued…)
Jeff
posted 9/05/08 @ 9:59 AM EST
Kris,
It's not about race. It's about risk. The two happen to be hopelessly intertwined due to cultural attitudes toward unprotected sex and birth control. (Continued…)
Rob
posted 9/05/08 @ 10:00 AM EST
Let me tell you from my own personal experience, sex without a condom does not equal commitment. Take it from one who employed that philosophy and had it come back to bite him. (Continued…)
James
posted 9/05/08 @ 10:05 AM EST
I myself PERSONALLY don't engage in extramarital sex and didn't even tongue kiss my wife until i had a ring on her finger. It's up to you what you do with your life and most do not have our self discipline but seriously, the way my generation treats sex is a GIGANTIC step backwards in human society. (Continued…)
Sonny
posted 9/05/08 @ 10:10 AM EST
Oh good, because now that we've taken care of AIDS, HIV and all those nasty STDs, kids should be able to have all the unprotected sex they want.
Plus, what better method of birth control than pulling out and crossing your fingers? I mean, it's not like it only takes once to get knocked up. (Continued…)
Nancy Tungston
posted 9/05/08 @ 10:29 AM EST
I'm 53, I agree to an extent. Not so much that it is an engagement ring, but maybe a "going steady" ring. With HIV being epidemic, a smart person uses a condom even though they are using alternate forms of birth control. (Continued…)
Ben
posted 9/05/08 @ 11:29 AM EST
I agree. When me and my boyfriend decided to go bareback, it was certainly a night to remember. While not technically a cream*pie* per se, it was definitely quite symbolic of our love, especially since we cannot get married in this state. (Continued…)
Mark
posted 9/05/08 @ 12:18 PM EST
I think unprotected sex between two committed people that have both tested clean of STDs and are using alternative methods of contraception is perfectly acceptable. (Continued…)
Jenna
posted 9/07/08 @ 4:05 PM EST
I think this whole thing is an absolute outrage. Just the thought of having sex before marriage is just out of the question. Has the human race really fallen this much that we are trading in our time honored traditions for different sexual escapades? I just don't understand. (Continued…)
Narkissos
posted 9/08/08 @ 12:19 AM EST
A very interesting read personally.
It's always enlightening to see how others view these things.
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